


Proof of Life

by house_of_lantis



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Based on Season 5 Gag Reel Where Jensen Makes an Interesting Hand Motion, M/M, juvenile sexual innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-25
Updated: 2011-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/house_of_lantis/pseuds/house_of_lantis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Proof that Jensen has a sense of humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proof of Life

Jensen never does anything on set that the crew or anyone with a camera phone will be able to post online. He was a working actor in Hollywood for 15 years now and he’d learned a lot about the politics of the industry, his acting abilities, and what was needed to carry a show for more than one season. Jensen was a pretty careful kind of guy. Well, one of them had to be.

It was bad enough that Jared was bending over and letting Misha pretend fuck him at conventions or even getting Jake into playing his games – all captured on camera and lighting up the Internet.

“Dude, chill out, it’s all for the gag reels,” Jared said, laughing hysterically when Jensen made his 264,345,456th attempt at reining Jared in. “You know the fans love stuff like this. I’m just giving them what they all want.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “The suits are going to write you another memo asking you to stop.”

“I know, right! I’m thinking about starting a binder and collecting them,” he said, breezily.

“Last count was 62 memos.”

“Awww, you counted them! That’s so awesome,” Jared said, turning wide and pleased eyes on him. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you cut loose now and then, too.”

Jensen snorted. “It’s not…dignified.”

Jared gave Jensen a long look and then smirked. “We’re actors. Seriously, there’s nothing dignified about what we do.”

And then Jared was off, running over to flirt and charm the newest guest stars, pulling up his shirt and showing off cut abs and bending over and shaking his ass just inches from Bobby’s face and screaming in falsetto, “Uncle Bobby! Uncle Bobby! I’ve been a bad, bad boy! Ohhhhhhh, Uncle Bobby! I need a spankin’!” Jensen stared as Bobby just rolled his eyes, not even phased by Jared’s downtime antics anymore.

Yeah, that didn’t make the gag reel – thank God for studio intervention.

One time when Jensen complained, trying to commiserate with the real Bobby Singer over Jared’s brand of obnoxious flirting, Bobby cocked his head at him and smiled.

“Let the boy blow off steam, Ackles,” Bobby said, sagely. “Better he go around shaking his ass at the crew than sitting in his trailer snorting coke all day long or fucking every PA on set and causing all kinds of other problems.”

“He’s just a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen,” Jensen muttered, crossly.

“We got double insurance on Jared during season two.”

But he knew that Bobby was right. Jensen had been on plenty of sets to know how actors blew off steam in unproductive ways. It was probably what kept him on such a tight leash. He liked to have fun, he was one of the guys, he cursed, he drank, he could shoot the shit – just not in front of cameras or where there were camera phones. He learned early on that no matter how popular a show or character or actor, Hollywood was a fickle bitch when it came to actors with bad reputations and studio heads were a paranoid, nervous bunch.

***

They were all exhausted, filming nonstop for weeks, trying to make their season finale deadlines, put the Show into the can, and go home and sleep for a month. Phil was the director on set for the next to last episode. He was like a human hummingbird, fast talking, fast moving, and keeping everyone on edge. Jensen loved working with Phil because he felt the safest with Phil behind the camera, but also because he worked hard to stay on budget and stay on schedule.

They were all on set in Bobby’s house, blowing off steam getting ready for a series of tense and emotional scenes. Jensen was just sitting backwards in a chair, on his mark, watching the crew set up for the next shot. Phil was behind the camera, adjusting the lens.

“Just sit right there, Jensen,” Phil called, checking the camera angle on him. “I need the measurements, please.”

A production assistant brought Jensen a bottle of water and he grinned up at him. “Thanks, man, I appreciate that.”

“Sure thing, Jensen.”

He sighed, taking a sip of the cool water, arm curled over the back of the chair. He tucked his chin into his elbow and closed his eyes.

“Misha! Get to your mark, please,” Phil called, motioning Misha to lean against the table right past Jensen’s shoulder. “All right, that’s good. Where’s Jared?”

Jensen opened his eyes and sat up, looking around.

“Jared!” Phil shouted. “Jared! PADALECKI!”

“Yo!” Jared said, rushing on set. “Dude, let me take a piss, man.”

Jensen laughed, looking up at Jared. “You have a bladder the size of a peanut.”

Jared rolled his eyes, grabbing his crotch and swinging his hips at Jensen. “You know you want my nuts.”

“Ohhhh, on the contrary,” Jensen said, smiling. “I have my eye on someone else.” He looked over his shoulder and gave Misha a broad wink.

Jared gave him an evil grin. “Mine’s bigger.”

“Size doesn’t matter,” Jensen said and then cocked his head, looking into the camera at Phil.

Phil snickered. “Size always matters, Jensen.”

And then Jensen raised his hand, poked his tongue against the side of his cheek in a universal gesture of a blowjob --

Pointed at Misha who was standing at his mark behind Jensen --

And then pushed his thumb to himself with a smug grin.

There was total silence on the set. Phil popped out from behind the camera to give Jensen a look, his eyes wide, mouth open. The crew who were noisily setting up for the next shot just stopped what they were doing and stared at Jensen. Jared’s hands were still on his crotch and he looked at Jensen like he didn’t know what he was seeing.

Misha giggled.

“Did you get that on film, Phil?” Jared said, his tone all astonishment, eyes on Jensen.

Phil snickered, blushing slightly. “That’s definitely for the gag reel.”

Jensen stared at him. _“No.”_

“Oh yes, I’m going to be showing this to everyone I know,” Phil said, snickering loudly. “My wife is going to love it.”

“Oh God,” Jensen said, ducking his head and hiding his face against his arm. The crew laughed, everything returning to normal. “Damn.”

“For what it’s worth,” Jared said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Jensen raised his eyes to look up at Jared’s smug, smirking face. “People are going to be talking about that one for a long, long time. I can’t wait until we go to our next convention!”

“Fuck you,” Jensen said, softly, but without any heat. "My Grandmother is going to see that."

Jared squeezed his shoulder and then sauntered off to his mark, sitting down in the chair next to Jensen.

“It’ll never get past the studio,” Jensen muttered, feeling his face heat up.

“So you think my dick’s smaller than Misha’s?” Jared said, looking at him.

“God, strike me dead on the ground right now please,” Jensen said, looking heavenward. _“Please!”_

Jared snorted, shaking his head. “I’m going to buy a picture frame so that when the studio sends you a memo, we can frame it and put it in your trailer.”

“Bite me.”

“Any-time-you-want, baby,” Jared drawled, giggling softly.


End file.
